I am for relationships in my future.

I want to be able to form and keep friendships I was able to form over the years with friends I have at NAMI Mercer NJ who also struggle with their difficult mental illness. I have been working since January 2016. I am back to work this September 2019. I will be working this semester. I also plan to retest for the Praxis Core Reading test next January 2020. Early in January I plan to retest and take the core reading test for the second time. I may try a third time to see if I pass. I may be able to pass this second time. I’m studying the Barron’s Praxis Core Exams and I will be studying it for the rest of this year. Early January 2020 is retest.

I discovered Alicia Keys in a music therapy group when I was at St. Francis Medical Center on the Psychiatric unit in Trenton, New Jersey back in the 2000s.

I really like Alicia Keys. I am around her age. I’m 38. I love singer/songwriters. I feel like they are cool for singing and especially if they are like Alicia and have fifteen Grammy awards and write their own songs. I like her music. I love how she plays the piano. She is so cool and she seems to be down to earth. I like how in one of her music videos she has on a nice outfit playing the piano. She has a Yamaha piano too. To be a pianist is something very cool and to write your own songs. I just like and admire Alicia Keys so much.

I had a health scare.

I was hospitalized for blood clots in my lungs and I was having anxiety too. I have been up since 7 am. I am going to be working on my writing. I am taking a course with The Institute of Children’s Literature. I am half way through my course. I need to work on my assignments and make them better. I will be in the library from 10 am to noon. Then I’m just going to chill until 12:30 pm a friend is picking me up and we’re going bowling and getting pizza.

I am so happy I am working at my alma mater as a Mentor.

I am happy to be able to help my Mentees. Some of them are African American and I work at Mercer. I try to be helpful to all of my Mentees. Some of them are Caucasian and others are Hispanic. They are all very nice and I have been able to connect with almost all of them. Sometimes when I meet a new Mentee at the beginning of the semester I introduce myself to them to familiarize myself with their names as well.

My faith is God is something I will hold on to unto death.

I am always going to believe in God. I am optimistic about my future. I know there are things in my way but with God on my side there is no goal I can’t accomplish. I have self-confidence. I want to be more independent, less dependent and more self-reliant. God has been good to me. I know the Lord for myself as a healer. I remind myself sometimes not to let fear overtake me. I try to face my fears. In life I refuse to let fear control me. I try to face the situations in my life more head on. I won’t go through life running when I can walk.

I’m in a good place. I have gotten to a place of self-acceptance and self-love.

I try not to beat myself up or be too hard on myself. I like myself. Despite what other people say or do I like myself and I try to be a friend to myself. I am unique. I like being myself. There is no person I want to be like. This is something I have going for myself. I don’t see anyone as better than I am. I like being who I am. I want the person I get into a relationship with to like me for me.

I lost seventy pounds on my own.

I became vegetarian because I wanted to get healthier. I don’t just look at numbers on the bathroom scale. I ate a healthy dinner. I am trying to maintain my weight loss. I do chair exercise twice a week. I intend to start walking outdoors in nature in September again. I am trying to take better care of my body. I plan on joining a gym in the fall. I try not to be out in the sun for more than a few minutes because I take medication. I feel pretty good today. It’s a Saturday, and I thank God I’m alive. Life is pretty good despite my illness. I do well for myself. I look forward to my 45th birthday in January.