I always remind myself of my successes and what is going well.

The past overwhelms me sometimes. I think of my elderly relatives and family members. I think of my mother. I think of loved ones I lost over the years. It’s hard sometimes. It overwhelms me sometimes. I plan to visit family in Brooklyn soon. I love my family members. I like knowing they all love me even if they can’t support me. I work. I plan to call a few family members this weekend and just catch up. I friended a lot of my family members on Facebook. My cousin Desiree posted a pretty childhood photo of my mother. I feel happier. I think sometimes when I remind myself that I’m okay I need to say my prayers too.

The way we see ourselves and the way other people see us isn’t the same

I know sometimes even when I say I see sunny or I see the glass as half full being my choice it is never easy. I need to take it day by day and just know that God walks with me and God cares about me. I make all of my own choices. I don’t need to worry. I am the one who chooses what I do. Choices I make are up to me. I feel like even when I say your life is the sum of the choices you make from your 18th birthday that will suffice.

Today I went out with my mom.

I am on the internet and that is so cool and fun. One time when I went to go visit my chiropractor and he called me Internet Ayesha I thought that sounds nice and since then it stuck. I kind of feel like that’s cool now that I have a social media presence. The Internet is very cool. I know these will be things that will always make me smile when I feel down. Thanks again to all of my fellow bloggers for giving me this honor. I’m thinking about what I might post in a few days.

I made my choices

Your life is the sum of your choices. I remember my childhood it wasn’t the best childhood but I don’t feel like I missed out on anything. I remember many happy days. I was bullied but I did well and I graduated from a 4-year college and I feel fine. I don’t think about it anymore . I remember my mother. I remember my father. I remember my grandmother. I remember my grandfather Randy. I remember my great aunt Elaine. I remember my great aunt Sybil. I remember my great aunt Veronica. I remember my great uncle Johnny who died when I was 12 years old. I remember how nice graduation day was and what an accomplishment that was for me at age 34 in May of 2015. I remember picking up my diploma the following October. I thank God I had the support of my family. I feel good about where I am. Many times I chose to procrastinate but I think you have to choose to say this is what I had. This is how I am honest about what my experience was really like not something that might sound better if you fudge or embellish the truth.