I am for relationships in my future.

I want to be able to form and keep friendships I was able to form over the years with friends I have at NAMI Mercer NJ who also struggle with their difficult mental illness. I have been working since January 2016. I am back to work this September 2019. I will be working this semester. I also plan to retest for the Praxis Core Reading test next January 2020. Early in January I plan to retest and take the core reading test for the second time. I may try a third time to see if I pass. I may be able to pass this second time. I’m studying the Barron’s Praxis Core Exams and I will be studying it for the rest of this year. Early January 2020 is retest.

I discovered Alicia Keys in a music therapy group when I was at St. Francis Medical Center on the Psychiatric unit in Trenton, New Jersey back in the 2000s.

I really like Alicia Keys. I am around her age. I’m 38. I love singer/songwriters. I feel like they are cool for singing and especially if they are like Alicia and have fifteen Grammy awards and write their own songs. I like her music. I love how she plays the piano. She is so cool and she seems to be down to earth. I like how in one of her music videos she has on a nice outfit playing the piano. She has a Yamaha piano too. To be a pianist is something very cool and to write your own songs. I just like and admire Alicia Keys so much.

I had a health scare.

I was hospitalized for blood clots in my lungs and I was having anxiety too. I have been up since 7 am. I am going to be working on my writing. I am taking a course with The Institute of Children’s Literature. I am half way through my course. I need to work on my assignments and make them better. I will be in the library from 10 am to noon. Then I’m just going to chill until 12:30 pm a friend is picking me up and we’re going bowling and getting pizza.

I am so happy I am working at my alma mater as a Mentor.

I am happy to be able to help my Mentees. Some of them are African American and I work at Mercer. I try to be helpful to all of my Mentees. Some of them are Caucasian and others are Hispanic. They are all very nice and I have been able to connect with almost all of them. Sometimes when I meet a new Mentee at the beginning of the semester I introduce myself to them to familiarize myself with their names as well.

I am looking forward to buying my first used vehicle.

I never knew the independence of my own vehicle. I have had my license for almost nine months. I drive well. I enjoy driving so much that all I can think about is this used Ford Edge SUV I saw online going for $6,500 plus taxes and fees. My mom has had her own vehicle since I was a child but as her only child I will be the sole beneficiary of my mom’s life insurance policy. I have money in an account to pay on my own for a used SUV. I can budget for my used SUV, and I will. Because this is my first vehicle ever at age 42, I try to just chill go through the process and relax. I have a budget. My budget s $10,000. I found this nice 2008 Ford Edge SUV that costs barely over eight thousand dollars including taxes and fees. I am looking forward to upgrading to my first four-year auto driver’s license. I am excited about this used vehicle purchase. I enjoy driving. I welcome the independence my license will afford me.

Happy new year y’all!

I have New Year’s resolutions. I lost fifty pounds on my own. I try to drink more water. I am attempting to buy my first used vehicle on my 42nd birthday. I didn’t judge myself, and I started driving at almost 40 years old. I become eligible for a four-year auto driver’s license this April. I am welcoming all of the independence my driver’s license will afford me. I will always try to keep my license. I may buy a used SUV by the end of January 2023. I am going to celebrate my birthday in late January. For me getting older is not as scary. I got much more comfortable with myself as I got older. I’ll stay true to myself. I never make a big deal about things that are not that big of a deal. I like the woman I have become. The key to my adulthood is my license and my used SUV. I am a big girl. I can drive. My mom says I drive well too!

Merry Christmas eve to all of you here on WordPress.com!

I want a car for Christmas but specifically a used SUV. I am a big tall lady. I want to make sure I appreciate my blessings. I want to give more than I take in relationships and friendships. I value my time on this earth. I have a difficult illness. I make sure I get sleep. I am up early at 5 am or 6 am most mornings. I got my parents, my friends, and close relatives Christmas gifts. I like the Christmas music on the radio. For me Christmas isn’t complete without Nat King Cole CDs and Mariah Carey’s Christmas CDs. I want to express gratitude to all my contacts and let them know I appreciate them. I need a used SUV to get around with. My budget is $10,000, but that’s okay it’s a start. Merry Christmas tomorrow everybody!

I am happy to be where I am.

I am learning how to drive later in life. I have a driving lesson tomorrow. I am looking forward to it. I had a good Thanksgiving with my family yesterday. I helped my mom a little today by doing her laundry. I try to help my mom with chores and laundry. As her female child, she expects me to do that to help and I volunteer once a week to do laundry on Fridays or on weekends. I have gratitude toward my mom because she is my primary caregiver. I am a giver, not a taker. I always try to reimburse or pay back my mom or any other supporters. I never want to be the kind of person that takes more than I give. I am praying for a used car for Christmas. I am ready to get my first used vehicle in December or January. In January of 2023, I will be 42 years young! I look forward to my 42nd birthday.

I am a happy writer.

Most of my life I have suffered from difficult symptoms of a mental illness. My illness is hard for me. Success with my writing endeavors was the one thing I am thankful to say I have had. I got my license older. I started driving at forty. I have not had one accident in almost two years of driving. I enjoy driving. I am 41. I will be 42 years old in January 2023. I am liking my life more. I try to save money for a rainy day. I am attempting to shop less. I used to do a lot of impulsive shopping. In my life I have a few social outlets.

I am so happy I am alive. I like the life I have. I am just as good as any other person. I am age 41. I have gotten to a good place. I don’t blame anyone else for my misfortunes. In life you got to play the hand you’re dealt. The mistakes I make are mine to own up to. I am not a victim. I like who I am. My 30s were okay. So far my 40s are pretty good. I try to live my life and work on myself.

I am optimistic about my future.

I am trying to be more positive. I try not to let negative thoughts get to me. I am always at least reading a book a month for pleasure. I am thinking of joining a book club. I am celebrating my life but it is still rough. I am trying to grow from my experiences. In hard times I now say God you are so much bigger than all of my problems. The Lord made himself real to me one day. I had a Muslim father that died when I was a child. My mom believes in God. I pray and believe in God. God helped me to remain resilient. I had a supernatural peace wash over me one day on a day I felt sad and anxious and the peace that washed over me healed me. I always loved and appreciated the Lord for healing me. No one could care as much as God.

I like being able to say my blog was nominated for four blogger awards. I appreciate my supporters enough to support them in return. I try to think of how difficult experiences I have had in my life that were hard for me. I purposely focus on the positive aspects of my own situation and this is because I know there is power in positive thinking.

I started liking myself more as I got older. I could tell a difference in the way I felt about myself in my early 30s.

As a little girl, I was often bullied and teased a lot about having dark skin. I was always told I was “too black” or “too dark skin”. I remember being chosen last for a partner in gym class, and a lab partner for science class in high school. I feel good about myself in my early 40s but as a child, I was teased about my skin color mercilessly, and it was stressful for me as a child. I chose how I see myself as an adult. As a child, I was verbally abused a lot. I really like myself. I would not want to be like anyone else. I am really comfortable in my own skin. I like myself a lot. My illness didn’t take my positive self-image away. I try not to be too hard on myself. I was able to get to a good place. I made peace with my illness. I made peace with my past. I see myself as worthy of good things. However, I try not to get carried away with my spending. I am budgeting for my first used SUV. I am doing well. I slept well last night. My sleep is better. God healed me in my early 30s. I know God has good things in store for me.

I feel fabulous at forty-one.

As someone who had an early onset of mental illness, I remember my mental health unraveling during my sophomore year in high school. I thank God I had supportive parents and other people who offered me support. Though I am much older I am seeking more independence for myself. I want to get a used SUV by the end of this year. I want to start to budget more and spend less money. I have a good relationship with my parents. I live with my family. I try to reach out to relatives a few times a month. It was nice when someone suggested sending friend requests to family and people I socialize with in other social settings on Facebook. I am going on a driving lesson this Friday at 2:30 pm. I want my life. I have confidence in myself. I can do things!