I am so happy I am working at my alma mater as a Mentor.

I am happy to be able to help my Mentees. Some of them are African American and I work at Mercer. I try to be helpful to all of my Mentees. Some of them are Caucasian and others are Hispanic. They are all very nice and I have been able to connect with almost all of them. Sometimes when I meet a new Mentee at the beginning of the semester I introduce myself to them to familiarize myself with their names as well.

I needed to know what I believed in for myself.

I stepped out on faith one day and my whole life changed. I had made peace with my illness and in doing so I realized that I am okay and actually doing better than okay. I had been prayed for but I never had the personal walk with God my creator for myself. I went by things other people told me or said to me. Ever since I had an experience with God for myself where I was sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was real and there right beside me all the time I could really say “yes God is real I am sure of that beyond a shadow of a doubt for myself.

In retrospect I realize being in a good place and feeling better I’m the same person.

I’m still the same person. I am relateable. People say they remember me and that always feels good. I know I could’ve felt less happy being myself. That just isn’t true though. I guess I’m the exception to that rule. I feel really happy where I am doing what I’m doing. I’m 38 years old. I feel like I’m fine. I am working on a course to become a children’s book author. I always loved kids. I hope to be able to have a successful pregnancy by my early 40s. I haven’t given up on myself or on life. I’m excited to see what happens tomorrow and the next day taking it one day at a time.

I feel good today.

I’m working on my children’s literature course from now until the end of the summer. I had a really good time at The Olive Garden yesterday with Just Friends social group. I was able to go out and be social and I even took a photo with two friends Lisa and Carey. I felt good to get out of the house and enjoy a nice time at The Olive Garden restaurant. I had a great time. I am going to be taking the basic driver examination permit test this Friday again. I am going to say a prayer and just go over the manual and take the test Friday morning at 11 am before I go to NAMI to set up for the annual 5K NAMI walk on the first Sunday in May. I’m looking forward to walking and enjoying the day at ETS where the annual NAMI 5K walk is held. I will be asking for all the prayers I can get to be able to pass the test this time and so I’m able to get a driving school to provide me with driving lessons that has a good reputation like Garden State Driving School. I want to learn from a driving school. My parent agreed to pay for my driving school this spring or summer.

I had my share of disappointments.

I realize that I am responsible for my own happiness. I have been independent-minded since I was a child. I like to do things on my own. I feel better when I do things on my own from cooking a nice meal to taking a shower in the morning when I wake up before I leave for school or work. I like to do things a certain way on my own. I don’t want any assistance. I need help with organizing my clothes,with cleaning up my room and my bathroom. I have my own room with a lot of closet space and my own bathroom. I live with my parents in a beautiful new development for 55+ active adults in West Windsor, NJ. I find I prefer to live in community than live on my own. I have my parents in the house with me most of the time unless they go out, I go out or my mom goes to work. My step father is retired from his job. He’s in his mid-60s. My mom will be 60 in May.

I had some rough experiences I was able to survive.

Life is 90% what happens to you and 10% how you react to it. I’ve been through hard times in my life. I am 38 now. I’ve had to deal with hard situations. I feel like I’m handling it well. I know how difficult life can be but on the other hand I know everything that happens does so for a reason. If I’m saying to myself that may have been hard but you’ve come through tough or hard times before and you’ll make it through this too. I remember when I discovered I was spiritual and I had gifts of knowing things. I always felt like I had psychic abilities. I feel like it’s cool when I know things but I know most people that say that they are psychic really aren’t. I wouldn’t be the only one. Some people lie and say they are psychic and some people know a lot more about those kinds of things. I have these hunches that are intuitive and I’m almost always right. I also live with a very difficult mental illness.

I woke up early this morning.

I got up brushed my teeth and took a good shower. I decided to spend a few minutes this morning praying to God and talking to Him one on one. I also plan on going to church this coming Sunday and volunteering to work with the kids. I have been working for over three years now at Mercer with young adults with intellectual disabilities helping them with basic reading and writing skills. I also take notes for them during their classes. I enjoy the work.

I have to make sure I get my sleep.

My 30s have been my best decade so far for getting sleep on any given night. I usually sleep seven or eight hours each night. I am usually able to sleep most nights. From time to time I have trouble sleeping. I love to be able to get an extra hour or two of sleep if I’m really burnt out and tired from a long drive or commuting to NJCU by train and bus but I’m going to continue to commute to NJCU until I finish my second Bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education. I have my goal in mind. I have to pass the Praxis core reading and writing before I can register and I need a math course to prepare me to take the math section of the Praxis Core exam. I got a 134 on the reading but with an additional month or two of studying on my own I know I can retest and I can pass with a 156 or better score.