I want to be able to form and keep friendships I was able to form over the years with friends I have at NAMI Mercer NJ who also struggle with their difficult mental illness. I have been working since January 2016. I am back to work this September 2019. I will be working this semester. I also plan to retest for the Praxis Core Reading test next January 2020. Early in January I plan to retest and take the core reading test for the second time. I may try a third time to see if I pass. I may be able to pass this second time. I’m studying the Barron’s Praxis Core Exams and I will be studying it for the rest of this year. Early January 2020 is retest.
I really like Alicia Keys. I am around her age. I’m 38. I love singer/songwriters. I feel like they are cool for singing and especially if they are like Alicia and have fifteen Grammy awards and write their own songs. I like her music. I love how she plays the piano. She is so cool and she seems to be down to earth. I like how in one of her music videos she has on a nice outfit playing the piano. She has a Yamaha piano too. To be a pianist is something very cool and to write your own songs. I just like and admire Alicia Keys so much.
I was hospitalized for blood clots in my lungs and I was having anxiety too. I have been up since 7 am. I am going to be working on my writing. I am taking a course with The Institute of Children’s Literature. I am half way through my course. I need to work on my assignments and make them better. I will be in the library from 10 am to noon. Then I’m just going to chill until 12:30 pm a friend is picking me up and we’re going bowling and getting pizza.
I am happy to be able to help my Mentees. Some of them are African American and I work at Mercer. I try to be helpful to all of my Mentees. Some of them are Caucasian and others are Hispanic. They are all very nice and I have been able to connect with almost all of them. Sometimes when I meet a new Mentee at the beginning of the semester I introduce myself to them to familiarize myself with their names as well.
One of my favorite things I remember from my childhood is my happy childhood poetry story. In fifth grade I experienced a lot of bullying. I always got verbal abuse from other children even older kids, and though I like to say sticks and stones may break my bones but words didn’t hurt me their the verbal abuse did. I feel cool about the success of my blog though. I had a lot of hard early experiences too. I know all I can think of is happiness as a newbie writer and the experiences I had with being nominated four times in the past two years. I also have a brand new 2021 wall calendar with Paris and the Eiffel Tower on the calendar. Whenever I have a success older I am filled with gratitude for this blogging community.
I feel more myself now that I am older. Some days can be hard but other days I am happy to be alive. I had blood clots in my lungs a bad health scare. I have been smoke free for over six years. I say no to urges to smoke. I try to stay away from convenience stores too. I do some shopping at Walmart only for cleaning supplies and hygiene products. I quit smoking over six years ago with Chantix. Chantix worked for me. I will stay smoke free. I am going to continue to be smoke free. I want to live. I want my life. I know God has been blessing me. I even have had many of my successes older. I stay inside and focus on being more present. When I was in the hospital I was being treated for blood clots in my lungs. I smoked for a long time but by my early 30s I felt like I needed to stop smoking. A caring doctor prescribed Chantix and it took away urges to smoke from me. I think now that it’s more than six years I have been smoke free I can continue to say no to urges and people who might ask me if I want a cigarette. I say no. I became a vegetarian too. I lost like 40 or 45 pounds after a few months gone meatless. All I eat is fish and seafood.
I want to find a partner who I am attracted to and can get to know. I don’t believe in premarital affairs or any other sexuality like lesbianism. I know God is blessing me in this season of my life. I felt really sad when I got bullied all through K-12 in school. I am going to be forty but I thank God everyday I feel good just the way I am. I don’t want to have to be like any other person. God don’t like ugly. Nothing is more of a turn off than someone who hates themselves and practices self loathing. I feel good about myself. If I get photos with friends I thank God for years of quality of life. I enjoy being a volunteer at NAMI. I do a lot of peer to peer events, and I facilitate a support group. It keeps me sane. Now I do ZOOM chats online but it feels good to be in a good place. Happy holidays y’all!
I have goals. I try to set short term goals and long term goals. I know if I have goals that is fine but first ask yourself are my goals attainable? I also need to say Esha stop procrastinating. Girl you are the princess of
My mother and my father had the best of intentions but only God has been there for me on days I felt like giving up or throwing in the towel. I see life as a journey especially now that I am older and have more perspective on things. I was like seventeen when I graduated from high school and it took me while to see in myself what God saw in me. My mother has been supportive of me and so have certain members of my family. I don’t have a lot of supporters but I try to support my supporters too. We all need a few mental health days a month even if we work. I appreciate God and I thank God for his presence in my life and His diving intervention. Can’t nobody do me like Him. I could not have made it this far without God. I think the reason the devil tempted God was to cause Him to bow down to Him instead of the devil bowing to God.
I will continue to celebrate my life while I have my life. I may be an ordinary person, but I have faith in God, and I have hope for my future too. I try to help my mom more around the house and with laundry, cooking and grocery shopping. I know I can drive on my own. Although I am in my late 30s I will not judge myself. I will keep getting driving lessons. My mom agreed to help me pay. I went through a driving school because I knew a professional driving instructor was the best way to go. I have a driving lesson next week. I am hoping next Spring or next summer I can get a preowned car of my own. I need a cute little SUV. I like the Honda HR-V models I’ve seen. I also like KIA Soul and KIA Sorento models at KIA Motors. I will retest and take the road test again early next year. I pray I can pass the road test on the second try. I can’t go over 10 miles per hour when I take the road test. The road test examiner gave me reasons I failed on November 30th. I’ll get some help paying for driving lessons. I’ll set up four or five more driving lessons until I feel ready to retake my road test. I am enjoying my driving lessons too. Life feels different in the driver’s seat. New Jersey has a seat belt law where the driver and all passengers in the car need to wear seat belts and buckle up.