Author: TheAyeshaSite

I am a Black Guyanese woman. I'm thirty nine years old. I went back to college to take Early Childhood Education classes. I want to get a second 48-credit BA degree in Early Childhood Education by 2021. I go to NJCU. I have a BA in Creative Writing from NJCU. I graduated from NJCU in August 2015. I transferred to NJCU from Mercer. I have my AA degree from Mercer in Humanities and Social Science since May 2007. I write poems, I write memoirs, I'm a blogger and I am taking a children's lit course. I love reading memoirs. I also do book reviews from time to time. My favorite poet is Emily Dickinson. I grew up in Ewing, New Jersey. I live in Princeton Junction with my parents!

Because I became more comfortable in my own skin as I got older…

I said to myself: Ayesha you’re fine. I was able to do quite a bit despite my illness. I’m thanking God for all the little things in life…how I wish I had a million more days like these.

My life is getting better as I age.

I decided to accept myself as I am flaws and all. I stopped using hair relaxers. I went au naturale. I started to like myself more as I aged. I am open to new opportunities, and experiences. I am trying to find a part time job, and I’ll continue to forge my own path.

I have to believe in myself in order to suceed.

I have support, but I try to do more on my own. I will focus on my own recovery and less on my peers’. I can be a supportive peer; however I need to focus on myself not on my peers, or on my friends. A counselor once told me “Focus on your own recovery, and life journey not on your friends.” It was good advice too!

I am doing well. I feel pretty good today.

I thank God for all the little things in life that bring me happiness, and joy. For me it’s the simple things in life that make me happy. It feels so good to be alive. I am 44. I got a few compliments the other day. I am able to appreciate my life.

My faith is God is something I will hold on to unto death.

I am always going to believe in God. I am optimistic about my future. I know there are things in my way but with God on my side there is no goal I can’t accomplish. I have self-confidence. I want to be more independent, less dependent and more self-reliant. God has been good to me. I know the Lord for myself as a healer. I remind myself sometimes not to let fear overtake me. I try to face my fears. In life I refuse to let fear control me. I try to face the situations in my life more head on. I won’t go through life running when I can walk.

I had a good day today.

Every day is a good day! Life is a gift.

I feel proud of myself.

I feel a sense of accomplishment from doing more things on my own, and it has reinforced my confidence in my own ability to do things.

I’m in a good place. I have gotten to a place of self-acceptance and self-love.

I try not to beat myself up or be too hard on myself. I like myself. Despite what other people say or do I like myself and I try to be a friend to myself. I am unique. I like being myself. There is no person I want to be like. This is something I have going for myself. I don’t see anyone as better than I am. I like being who I am. I want the person I get into a relationship with to like me for me.

Racism has to a certain extent affected my life.

My race makes my life different for me. I have to accept that certain jobs I like wouldn’t take me seriously. I am trying to get an early childhood teacher certification. Here goes. I have to pass Praxis II. Pray for me. I bought a study guide a few days ago. I can make a difference. I think I’d make a good early childhood educator.

I lost seventy pounds on my own.

I became vegetarian because I wanted to get healthier. I don’t just look at numbers on the bathroom scale. I ate a healthy dinner. I am trying to maintain my weight loss. I do chair exercise twice a week. I intend to start walking outdoors in nature in September again. I am trying to take better care of my body. I plan on joining a gym in the fall. I try not to be out in the sun for more than a few minutes because I take medication. I feel pretty good today. It’s a Saturday, and I thank God I’m alive. Life is pretty good despite my illness. I do well for myself. I look forward to my 45th birthday in January.