If I feel sad or my mood is low I just remind myself of how well my blog is doing and I see that I am doing fine.

My blog is nominated for four blogger awards. I am working on my course to write for children and teenagers. I am going to submit three articles to teen magazines for publication. I am doing fine. I need to focus on the things that are going well and  see all the good in my life. I want to enjoy and appreciate my life.

I was taught to value education since I was a child. I’ll be 39 years old in January 2020.

I value education and school and learning and advancement. I think those things are very important. I still value education as an adult. I read books. I read about a book a month. I have been on amazon.com using my account to buy books. I will continue to read and I plan on taking a 30 minute walk to get some cardio most days of the week. I lost over 40 pounds on my own. I need to move more. I feel excited that I didn’t need to have to get help. I did it by myself I followed a pescatarian eating plan and I just eat less and I lost weight but I was hospitalized for blood clots in my lungs and my blood pressure was high. I had an appointment with a cardiologist this week.

I feel really blessed to be where I am now.

I am at a good place in my life right now. I feel good about myself. I am not down on myself ever. I see so many positive aspects of myself and my life now that I think 2019 is my best year yet. I have so much to be thankful for. I know God wanted me to be able to feel good about myself and enjoy my life as I am. This is the best outcome I could have hoped or dreamed of and I am just going to enjoy my life and the things I have. I did a shopping trip over the weekend to Kohls and I got quite a few items for fall 2019 from dresses to pants to leggings to sweat shirts. I got some nice things.

I am for relationships in my future.

I want to be able to form and keep friendships I was able to form over the years with friends I have at NAMI Mercer NJ who also struggle with their difficult mental illness. I have been working since January 2016. I am back to work this September 2019. I will be working this semester. I also plan to retest for the Praxis Core Reading test next January 2020. Early in January I plan to retest and take the core reading test for the second time. I may try a third time to see if I pass. I may be able to pass this second time. I’m studying the Barron’s Praxis Core Exams and I will be studying it for the rest of this year. Early January 2020 is retest.

I feel like it’s cool to be me now.

My life kind of followed it’s own trajectory. I had successes after the age of thirty that made me feel so much better about myself and about my life and what I was capable of. I have been remembering times where I found it hard to go out or even enjoy things. I still am a work in progress but I don’t think of myself as mentally ill. I know life is what you make it. If life gives you lemons you are supposed to make lemonade. I know even when I had a lot of unfair circumstances I would never take my life. I feel blessed to have the things I have. So many people have less than I have. I think a person finds perspective when they say “I have things too. I may shop at Walmart or Target but so what there is more to life than labels on clothes.” I have a few items but mostly coats, jackets, socks and handbags. I don’t want to blow all my money on expensive things. I am on a budget. I want to teach my child this too. I will never blow money on material things. My birthday is coming up in January 2020. I want to be able to meet with my sister Alison. She is finishing her PhD program at Walden University. I admire that Alison is going to be finishing her PhD program. She is my half sister and we both had the same father. I want to just be able to meet in Manhattan for lunch. I want to be able to meet with her and to share my latest success and just say “I remember you saying I always had a gift with literacy, thanks big sister.”

I had a cute little pink and white London Fog coat that was stolen when I was in kindergarten one winter.

When I was a little girl I had a cute little pink and white coat by London Fog that I wore during the winter I was in kindergarten. I had a jealous girl take my coat and throw it down a eight story building and when my mom came to pick me up my coat was soiled and it was ruined. I was just a little girl of four or five years old. I couldn’t explain how my cute little pink coat got ruined and became very dirty. I get myself nice things now that I’m older. I like to go out and dress nice but I still shop at Walmart and Target cause that’s what I can afford. I can’t shop in department stores for name brand clothes. I get deals and I just get things that look good on me. My favorite designer is Issac Mizrahi. He has a memoir coming out early next year. I hope I can review it. I plan to read it cover to cover and just be able to support Issac Mizrahi.

I want to teach my infant girl or boy child about living with less money to spend and how to save for their college educations.

I won’t buy my child expensive clothes but I will buy them cute affordable clothes. I will shop at Target, Walmart, J C Penney, Macys and The Carter’s store.  I also may shop at Gap Kids. I will get the cutest little affordable clothing for my child. I want them to focus on just wearing clothes that they will soon outgrow anyway. I will be a good mommy.