I am thrilled that I will soon be able to upgrade to a probationary license. The adult road to driving in the state New Jersey requires only three months of supervision, which is half the early bird road, and young adult road. I took advice from someone who told me not to judge myself. I feel so good behind-the-wheel in the student vehicle, and I have been doing well, and plan to schedule a few more driving lessons. I took a big step, but I am just going to get more driving lessons, and my driving instructor has told me he taught a lot of the young people in the area I live in how to drive. He’s very nice too. I
I am coming up on my fifth driving lesson. The lessons are two hours at a time, but it is good practice going out and being in the driver seat and driving with the help of a driving instructor. I will not judge myself. I can learn the skill of driving. I am looking forward to another driving lesson this Friday morning at 10 am.
Sometimes when I was a little girl I got bullied by other kids badly. I would get called names like “blacky” and “too dark” and “darky” but one day I had a supernatural peace wash over me and it changed my life. My mom once told me my father got very different treatment from the other members of his family because of his skin color. I have grown very comfortable in my own skin now that I am older but that was not true for me as a kid. I got bullied a lot. I was stressed at school in third or fourth grade and a female principal at a Muslim school that even taught us Arabic and French skipped me twice as a nine year old girl. I was a smart girl but just about every compliment I got was like “pretty but dark” or “pleasant and nice but no”. I was healed by the great healer. This peace washed over me, and God’s divine intervention caused me to sleep better. I entered into rest because God my heavenly father said to me “daughter you are healed receive your healing from God”.
As a little girl no matter what I did I got bullied a lot. I always felt sad when I was verbally abused, but I felt like I was a pretty little black girl but due to colorism and the color I was I often got told I was “too dark” , “too black” and some kids called me “blacky”. I became more comfortable the way I am as I got older, but it was really hard for me as a kid to be teased, and taunted by other kids. The way I treat myself older is to be good to myself on purpose. I know how hard mental illness is for the bloggers that also have mental health blogs I know for all of those guys their illness is hard for them too. I have a difficult illness. I pray though and spirituality gives me my hope and keeps me grounded and helps me to be honest with myself and others.
The independence of driving and saving up for my own vehicle is something I am actually going to be able to do by early next year. I am excited. I also will try to get a road test package from the driving school I am using. I’ll get three or four more two hour lessons from the driving school and then go online to schedule a road test by early October 2020.