I know now that I am older that I feel so much more comfortable with myself on the inside. I try not to compare myself with anyone else. I am going to be myself. I have come to terms with who I am. I really like myself the way I am. I always get compliments from other people. That always makes me smile when someone smiles at me or says hello. I believe God is the only healer. I try not to judge others. I kind of just live my own life. I am excited now that I can breathe and be.

I know now not everyone is going to be as thrilled with you as you are with yourself, but that’s okay “I really like myself. I feel like that is the thing I will focus on. It feels good to be in a good place. My life is still good. I also try to eat healthier. I lost weight on my own. The more I did on my own the more confidence it gave me. I have to say to myself I am a strong person. I may get knocked down but it’s not going to stop me from getting back up. In other words giving up hope is not an option. Enemies try to discourage you but I am so motivated that I won’t go any further. My illness is so hard for me. I try to stay close to family but I am trying to get a preowned car.

This land is your land this land is my land from California to the New York island. I once had a friend tell me they can hear my New York accent. I am from Brooklyn and my absolute favorite restaurant is Junior’s restaurant famous for making cheesecake. I called because I wanted to arrange to get a slice of strawberry cheesecake when I am in town.

I am much happier now that I am older. I’m glad I learned to accept myself just the way I am. Everyday we are bombarded with images of super skinny fashion models that are our standard of beauty in this society models that are dying to be thin. I became vegetarian because I want to become healthier. I have been an emotional eater since childhood. I am trying to make healthier choices and break the cycle of obesity. I lost forty pounds on my own. I want to buy myself a really nice 26″ women’s bicycle online. I’ll try to spend the spring and summer riding my new bicycle outdoors. I plan to take thirty minute bike rides starting in May of this year. I went online on www.walmart.com but most of the bikes are out of stock. I will look in the Walmart on Route 130 in NJ.

My relationship with myself got a lot better as I got older. The change in me started in my early 30s. I started to feel more comfortable in my own skin. I started journaling and writing poetry. I knew God was there. I had a supernatural experience having a supernatural peace wash over me restoring my sanity. The experience gave me hope. I am holding on to my faith in God. I think we all need God in our lives. Satan creates chaos and reeks havoc on people’s lives because he’s a trouble maker. I pray most mornings when I wake up. I thank God for causing me to be resilient. God is the person who caused the healing of my soul from hurt feelings and verbal abuse from people that barely knew me, but they still talk about me negatively. I was bullied a lot as a little girl but I credit God and spirituality for saving my life. I like most of the contemporary Christian songs on the Star 99.1 radio station. I can’t get through a car ride without the radio. I love to listen to the radio. Music has been my past time for along time. As a child I listened to the radio a lot too.

The more I accept myself flaws and all the better I will feel. All of my life I have had my share of haters. I try to assert myself more. I know if I had been a bullied self conscious I thank God I at least can see myself as attractive. I love how things in my life worked out. Though I was older at the time I will always remember the experiences I had being nominated for four blogger awards. I thank God for being there for me. I pray most mornings when I wake up. I am also making sure I go to sleep by 9 pm too. I need my sleep. I try to go to bed earlier and give myself an hour or two hours of extra sleep and not wake up until 8 am.

I believe in God. I know I am going to be able to keep on living, and I’m not going to give up on me. I say it is not how many times you try it is the will to keep on trying. In my life everything that was hard for me I resolved not to give up on myself. Others opinions of me may be different, but as I got older I started to feel better about myself. I got teased very badly as a child. I always got called mean vicious names. I feel good about myself though despite these things being true for me all of my life.

I think of riding a women’s bicycle at the Jersey Shore in my mid-20s. I really enjoy riding a bicycle. I am thinking about my life differently because I had most of my successes older. I am forty but I believe learning is life long. I am reading a book I checked out from the library. I read a book a month. I am also a writer who is finishing a course in writing for children. I am estatic that I have had so many successes in my ICL course.

I thank God for healing me.

As a child I got bullied often. I had felt very self conscious as a child. I feel better about myself now that I am older. I am very comfortable in my own skin and I don’t just focus on me all of the time. I know helping friends and family is something I will always try to do. I also plan on applying to do volunteer work with NJ Library for the Blind in Ewing, NJ. I want to volunteer to read there and be recorded. I hope I can also publish children’s books. After I work on the assignment I am working on I have a final assignment that is a manuscript for a children’s book. I have a few ideas already for a narrative nonfiction book about my youth with a mental illness called Selling Chocolate but the assignment I am working on for the next week is called MAMA’S LITTLE HELPER a fictional children’s book idea.

I love the arts. I am a poet I went to a few poetry slams. I believe socialization is a major factor in the life of children from childhood all the way up through college. I always wrote poetry as a little girl. The schools I went to were good schools but they were public schools. One day in the summer of 2016 I entered this competition put on by the VSA of NJ called the NJ wordsmith competition. I liked the experience. I had a guy I was dating take a few photos of me and my mom and my stepfather Neil. I always loved writing poetry since I was nine or ten. For someone who is just starting to journal or write consider writing in a journal. I graduated from college at the age of thirty four. I had good and bad experiences in college but for years I volunteered with an organization known as NAMI, and I will continue to. The wordsmith competition ended in 2016. I remember them saying it was the 22nd annual competition. I met a young woman who has been one of the winners and we made small talk. I know sometimes it really does help to write your thoughts and feelings down. I kept journals for years and I always felt like writing was a way of healing too.

I read a book by author Louise DeSalvo called Writing as a way of healing.