As a child I got bullied often. I had felt very self conscious as a child. I feel better about myself now that I am older. I am very comfortable in my own skin and I don’t just focus on me all of the time. I know helping friends and family is something I will always try to do. I also plan on applying to do volunteer work with NJ Library for the Blind in Ewing, NJ. I want to volunteer to read there and be recorded. I hope I can also publish children’s books. After I work on the assignment I am working on I have a final assignment that is a manuscript for a children’s book. I have a few ideas already for a narrative nonfiction book about my youth with a mental illness called Selling Chocolate but the assignment I am working on for the next week is called MAMA’S LITTLE HELPER a fictional children’s book idea.
I read a book by author Louise DeSalvo called Writing as a way of healing.
God is the one I will always praise for saving this nerve wracked soul of mine. I had hard experiences but I had good experiences too. I had successes older. I thank God that I am healed. I will always believe in God. God is good. His ways are higher. His ways are better.
I feel overcome with gratitude to God for healing me. As a little girl I didn’t always understand and I asked questions a lot. I was an inquisitive child too. Now that I can see myself as attractive I can say I feel good now that I am older and feel better about myself. I felt like an alien a lot as a little girl who just always felt picked on or left out but not anymore. I have always felt people had other reasons for not liking me but I am not sweatin’ it. My 30s were pretty good and life gets better the more you start to embrace yourself. I know as a forty year old that although I have formed quite a few friendships I don’t need to focus on gaining popularity I can celebrate myself being infamous and becoming a writer.
I got a huge white sheet cake with chocolate buttercream frosting and in pink icing it said Happy birthday Ayesha. I ordered my cake from Costco Wholesale bakery. I gave most of my birthday cake away but I hade a piece or two. I lost forty pounds on my own and I decided to give away most of my birthday cake. Turning forty and being in a good place is a miracle for me. I know God has been there for me. I pray most mornings when I wake up. I get up really early too. I have my phone set to alarm at 6 am. I am getting my sleep and refuse to stay up past 10 pm. I need my sleep. I turn in most nights by 11 pm. I know if I am really tired I need to stay up but I turn in earlier now. I know sleep problems trouble me once in a while so I make an effort to get my zzz’s.