I am blessed. I have God’s presence in my life. God healed me. He cared enough about me to heal me. I believe in God. I cling to my faith in God. No matter what comes my way I am going to stand my ground. I have found certain things in my life still kind of hard living with my mental illness. I am supportive of my peers. Mental illness can’t be seen you don’t know a person that has a difficult mental illness is suffering from a hard illness because you can’t see the illness, but the illness is just as real as diabetes or cancer. For the peers I have that suffer from a mental illness some of them can’t find a job they like that doesn’t judge their abilities to work and support themselves. I thank God I have my parents, but I am seeking more independence for myself, and I’m trying to get a provisional license upgrade in December. Driving will give me more independence. I can drive on my own with my provisional license.
I think it shows maturity when you try to learn from your mistakes. I learned from my failures. Actions and reactions have consequences. I think first before I react to a stimulus. I know I have been through a lot but I believe in God. I was healed by God. I felt alone for a long time but I am making a conscious effort to pray and seek God. Spirituality saved my life. I got teased and taunted a lot as a child. I would feel so sad when kids would bully me. I was bullied when I was a child by these two high school drop out girls. I started to like myself as I got into my late 20s and early 30s. I thank God I can see myself through different eyes older. I am forty. I look forward to my 41st birthday coming up in January. I try not to just focus on myself. I think of my aging parents. I miss my grandparents. They are both deceased. I am going out driving tomorrow morning. I hope to pass my road test and try to obtain my license.
Yesterday I lost my grandma. I will miss her. She and I did a lot of bonding while she visited our home. We live in a really nice home. I have gratitude for the relative ease in my life. I know my grandma was born in the 1920s. I have the ambition to become a children’s author. I have goals set for myself. I believe in God. God gave me a positive outlook. I try to be good to other people. I know not everybody is nice but I focus on how nice most of the people are. It is good to connect with other people in a group setting. I try hard to do more and to not isolate myself. I like group therapy better than one on one therapy. I was supernaturally healed by God one day when I least expected it God gave me a miracle. I didn’t feel safe as a child around certain family members. I had a cousin who stole from my mom a lot when I was a child. She and I spoke on the phone but it hurt me a lot that she would steal from my mom. I try to let go of the past. All I could think of was sharing a poem I wrote today to share at her funeral. I have this cute little black dress I have never worn to grandma’s funeral.
Even though I struggle with my mental illness the illness doesn’t have me anymore. I have good and bad days but I cling to my faith in God. I know even if I were to have setbacks and difficult experiences because of the peace I have on the inside I can be still and know that God is in this battle with me. I am not alone. Many times I felt alone but I am sure I am not alone. I have WordPress to thank for helping me to create my blog. I am so comfortable in my skin as a forty-year-old woman that I can tell that I have come a long way. There has been a lot of personal growth on my part. I don’t blame anyone for my misfortunes. I know God healed me. I made a few new friends and I let go of any animosity toward anyone else.
I recommend more people embrace the You (who you are) because I am unique and embrace the me (who I am).
I am eating healthier trying to live longer. My illness is hard for me. I like myself despite my difficulties. I appreciate what I have. I try not to covet my neighbor’s things. I realize everyone has problems. Things may appear one way but I was healed by God one day. I know I have come a long way. I can see God’s hand when I look over my life. He is so good. I can’t change the past. I live in the present because I only have the time I have left. Health is important. I try to make healthy choices if and when I can. I like myself. I am not conceited don’t get me wrong but I am so comfortable in the skin I am in remembering hard experiences that were hard for me as a child. I know no one can take my soul away from me. Writing is something I really love.
I am celebrating my life older. I didn’t know I would have cool experiences older. I am forty now. I look forward to the rest of my life. I appreciate my family and friends. I try to take the focus off of me. Sometimes I need a few down days. I will trust God and try to stay on course. I am glad to say I am comfortable in my own skin. I embrace being who I am and not someone else’s idea of who I am. I believe God put me on earth for a reason. I feel like my life has a purpose. I am able to make a difference where I am. I am learning how to drive. I hope I can get a pre-owned car by December of this year. I am going on a driving lesson today.