TheAyeshaSite

You need to love yourself to enjoy anything in life. The time I spend with friends and loved ones is great around the Holidays but I like to stay busy with school and work. Even if it’s just to take courses in areas or fields I’m interested in getting into like Administrative Assistant jobs I  will learn how to type and brush up on the office work I know how to do. I’d take a job like that or work as a Library Assistant part-time. I never focus on my body now that I am losing weight. I lost 15lbs in a short time. I am a pescetarian now so all I eat is fish, seafood, fruits, vegetables, rice, noodles, eggs, dairy, sunflower seeds, nuts, water and fruit juices. Life is good. My character is speaking for me at the volunteer job, at school and even at work. I love that! That’s is why I try not to worry about other people and their opinions. God approves of me.

I never would have imagined that self-acceptance would happen to me so fast. I know God loves me because I felt a peace that passed what I understood. Even friends I don’t see all of the time say “hey Esha or Ayesha hi I know you” I need people in my life that care about me and offer me advice, friendship and help with things I don’t know or understand as well as others do. I always appreciate nice compliments or people who ask me if I need anything. God knows that my character speaks for me. I even have a cool resume.

Yes I hear voices. No it’s not any of your business. I am trying to change the way I think about myself and through random acts of kindness either by me or by people around me I settle in with Jean Toomer’s Cane and the rest is workshop.

I was happy that I applied to a few Master’s degree programs. If I could be anything it would be a teacher or a children’s librarian. I’m a poet. I’m writing a memoir. I love jewelry and jewelry stores. I’m a Forever 21 kind of girl. I look like I could be the same age as my Mentees. A few of my Mentees said so. I feel like a cool person now in my 30s. I don’t want to change anything about myself now that I know I don’t walk alone and even if it’s making eye contact with a friend or a classmate I’m quite happy!

I want to name my baby girl Hananiah!

I had a nice childhood. I have lots of cousins so I always had playmates even when other kids were cruel to me or didn’t like me when I was a little girl. I feel so happy to be where I am today. I can’t believe how far I’ve come. I am writing a memoir and I feel like I’m as good as any other woman. The woman I am is the woman I want to be.

One day my stepfather Neil said “you and your mother…”. I understood what he meant. My mom didn’t like it when he said she was a black woman nurse but he often complimented her by saying this when she was home from work. She’s working now as a nurse-midwife. She started her midwife career when I was eight or nine years old. I love my mom. I love when people say to me “Ayesha you’re one of the coolest Black girls or women I know. You write such lovely poems, you are an excellent blogger, you have a great fashion sense too.” I’m writing a memoir. Compliments make life sweeter.

I quit smoking almost four years ago. I love being a non-smoker. I love that I am losing weight and taking better care of my health now. I want to do a vegetable cooking this Thanksgiving with fish and seafood and fruits and grains, nuts and sunflower seeds. The salad bar at work or school and no meats. I love vegetables on pizza. I’m working on my body but my goals weight is 200lbs.

I never knew I’d grow into such a self-loving self-assured woman in my 30s. I’ll be 37 in January 2018 and I love my life. I have my struggles. My life is not perfect but I love being myself. I love my life and all the cool things I do like Blogging and Poetry and Memoir and Writing for children. I love being a Mentor too. Ideals goodbye.

I read my Big Beautiful Black Woman poem at The Arts Council of Princeton last night from 6pm to 8:30pm. I feel so happy and so thankful for American poetry and to be a poet. We took group photos at 8pm at the end of the night all of us poets and members of NextGen and the YWCA of Princeton. I thought of Meg Maher! This is my third poetry slam. A few people came up to me after the event and said they loved my poem. Sweet. Many of the poems read at the slam dealt with race or identity. To write poems where talk about race is to kind of have a conversation about issues. This is a beautiful thing. Shout out to U.S. Poet Laureate Tracy K. Smith. Poetry in America is a beautiful thing.