The way I am is the way I want to be. I don’t want to change.

I have experienced racism that is hard to talk about but not once since my 31st birthday have I felt like I’m not good enough the way I am. It was my experience in life to have only a few friends here or there but where I am now I only have a few supporters. It’s not easy for anyone in life even if it appears that way to other people. We all have our challenges. I felt good because I was nominated four times for blogger awards I felt validated. It’s really been the first thing that put a big smile on my face. It is something I am able to enjoy and also able to thank the two people that nominated me. I have this renewed appreciation for my own life. Hearing mean voices and having schizophrenia is difficult but I was able to make peace with my illness. For me it is not as hard as it once was. I had fear of my own shadow. I had been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic before I was even 15 years old.  I’m able to be out at night with less fear and I’m able to say I feel good about myself despite certain things that have always held true about how things were for me in life since I was a little girl.

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TheAyeshaSite

I am a Black Guyanese woman in my late 30s. I went back to college to take Early Childhood Education classes. I want to get a second 48-credit BA degree in Early Childhood Education by 2021. I go to NJCU. I have a BA in Creative Writing from NJCU. I graduated from NJCU in August 2015. I transferred to NJCU from Mercer. I have my AA degree from Mercer in Humanities and Social Sciences since May 2007. I write poems, I write memoirs, I'm a blogger and I am taking a children's writer course. I love reading memoirs and I do book reviews from time to time. My favorite poet is Emily Dickinson. I grew up in Ewing, New Jersey. I live in Princeton Junction with my parents!

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