I feel happy to be nominated for four blogger awards and just to have had the experience.

I have been thinking about my nominations every waking minute and it is because this is really a first experience for me to have had like this. I give praise to God first and foremost but I like taking credit for it. I spent a big portion of my life with the most difficult mental illness you can imagine. I sympathize with people who have mental illnesses because I’m one of them but I have insight into my illness. For years I volunteered with NAMI and it was a Godsend that I was able to find socialization through the Just Friends Social Group. Some days are still really difficult for me. I learned to be proud of the woman I am and to feel gratitude to the people that gave me opportunities along the way. I never had a lot of people like me or many experiences that were positive and happy like this one that I could look back on but now that I’m older if someone asks me “do you like yourself Ayesha?” I say yes because I do I learned to accept myself just the way I am. I believe God had a reason for creating me this way. It was never easy for me. I was this shy, quiet, bullied black kid that got teased a lot that never really had a lot of friends maybe a few friends but not many. I feared bad things happening to me like getting beaten up or just things other than losing my figure. I am always judged or criticized by people one or the other. I remember early on in my early life having difficult experiences that were hard for me and when I had this sudden moment of clarity and there was divine intervention involved I had a peace wash over me when at that moment I knew I had made peace with my difficult illness. I heard mean vicious voices that would make me feel really sad and I wasn’t even able to have a voice. When people read my writings and they say “Ayesha you nailed voice I can hear your voice in your memoir”. I just love that I have my own distinct voice as a writer even if I didn’t say much.