I see myself as a competent person. I know sometimes even the way I see myself may be different from the way others see me.

I am a kind person. I like when other people say I’m nice or easy going but I try to be kind to people on purpose. Sometimes even people that I know may have the same struggles that I have may even say “oh Ayesha has the same mental illness I have” even if our diagnosis may differ  but for years it was really hard for before I had the support of NAMI. I can tell you from experience mental illness is really hard. Being able to do so much more with the advances in modern medicine one day sounds nice to me. When I think of medicine and research for mental illness I know I think of wholistic alternatives rather than a psychiatrist but maybe we need both. I know the Bible verse that says “laughter make the heart merry like a medicine.” The more I laugh and enjoy myself the less stressed out I feel. A few jokes a friend and I have the happier we each are in that moment. The successes of my blog are happy successes. I always dreamed of becoming a writer I even wanted to have a chance to put MFA after my name but that didn’t work out. I admire poet Natasha Trethewey but I know she was one of the first females I saw that had that so many successes as a poet and the south is different from the north but there is still racism here I just find more people are very nice and approachable here in New Jersey where I live. I know even in Brooklyn everybody pretty much rides the bus or the train and once when I was a child in school in Brooklyn a bus driver put me off the bus for being ten cents short. I try to be careful but thank God from the train my bus ride is less than 15 minutes and as long as I say getting off at NJCU I’m okay. Things sometimes happen and the bus fare even went up five cents last year. I need to have the fare or I’m in trouble.