Accommodations for Praxis CORE for Educators test

I recently went on http://www.ets.org and filled out the form to get accommodations for the Praxis CORE for Educators test. I will wait to hear from ETS. I got a confirmation email sent to my missesayesha@gmail.com professional email address. I hope to take the Reading test sometime in December.  There is a reading section, a writing section and a math section of the Praxis CORE for Educators test. I hope to pass the Praxis CORE and just be able to keep taking Early Childhood Education classes until I get my second BA.

I am 36 years old and I still write poetry.

I started writing poetry in the 5th grade. I am 36 years old and I still write poetry. I have a poem published in the September 2017 NAMI Mercer newsletter. My poem is called Post WRAP 2017 poem. I am hoping that next January 2018 I will be publishing another poem in the newsletter. I will wait to hear from Miss Maddy Monheit. She always lets me know if I have a poem in the NAMI Mercer newsletter. I have been published for almost five years in the NAMI Mercer newsletter. I plan to continue writing poetry in my 40s and 50s!

The key to feeling confident or good about YOU!

I spent my childhood and teenage years feeling rejected by other kids. I feel rejected by groups and cliques even now as an adult. I don’t really feel like I belong to any particular group. I love being a poet and a writer. I love being a volunteer at NAMI Mercer NJ. I made a few friends through being involved with NAMI Mercer NJ. Jabeen sent me a nice reply on LinkedIn yesterday.

I connected the dots and I understand that was always what my gift was

I went to the Museum of the American Revolution and I saw the exhibit. There were a few Black or African people in the exhibit. My mom took a great photo of me at the museum and I got the photo blown up and framed. I always thought that connecting dots was my gift. From discovering Mahogany greeting cards when I was nineteen to giving a Mahogany card to a relative as a gift, to taking certain courses that have to do with my ethnic background or other backgrounds that interest me like the Hispanic culture class I took at Mercer that I remember when I transferred to NJCU. I remember how on May 1, 2015, I went with my parents and a lot of the African American students to the celebration of African heritage day at NJCU and was happy to be able to be a part of it. It was a nice experience for me. I got into Cave Canem twice too. I was the first person who took the poetry workshop that they thought of to write a letter in support of Cave Canem. I connect with my own culture and I’m a proud African American woman. I don’t try to be something else I feel like the thing I am is the thing for me to celebrate.

I feel good about how far I’ve come

I feel great in my 30s. I had so so 20s and a difficult adolescence. My childhood was full of emotional abuse by other kids and teenagers who really didn’t like me.  I know people who think my childhood was unfair but look at how good my present is. I am feeling good about Ayesha when I never dreamed I would and so soon too. I used to be the girl who felt stressed as a kid. I got headaches. I believe in myself and I know God is with me everywhere I go. The peace that fell on me that day at AAMH back in 2012 when there was a backlash from the white clients at AAMH when I was attending the program let me know I can be in God’s presence anywhere I am. I know I met God that day at the program when I felt like I was going to cry on our lunch break. I know God is with me now for sure so I sleep well and remember Dr. Maddiah caring enough to prescribe my meds and the Chantix for me that aided me to quit smoking for over 3 years.

Women can be supportive of each other.

I think of all of the young women I mentor and I don’t see color or Black or White but deep inside I always think of Kiara and my experience at Mercer. Kiara is one of my mentees. I remember my experience at Mercer and when they see me they know that I’m the Mentor not a current student and I’m Ayesha. I always remember that they mix Kiara and me up but when Kiara did the logo last semester for our group I thought she did such a cool job. I remember her saying something to me acknowledging me one time. I know as women depending on the race we can sometimes have issues with each other but women are all beautiful and powerful! We just need to empower each other.

The Black/African woman Oprah Winfrey

When I think of very successful Black/African women I think of Oprah Winfrey and her OWN network. I would think of all of the Blacks in America who are millionaires from basketball players to musicians and I would think Oprah is the billionaire and the only billionaire I know of. From The Oprah Magazine to the OWN Oprah Winfrey Network to The Oprah Winfrey show she had for twenty-five years she has done very well. Oprah has been and continues to be herself and be so successful as Oprah. I think Oprah needs to be applauded every year during African American history month.

I really will be remembered as a woman who wrote a lot about her life and her lived experiences with mental illness.

When I was 33 3/4 years old starting in September 2014 I took Memoir workshop with Edi Giunta and my entire life changed. Somehow someone that knew I got such a beautiful surprise in my 30s tried to sabotage me and my goal of writing a memoir under the guidance and support or coaching of memoir professor Edi Giunta. Edi encouraged me that I could write memoir and that I was a writer and a poet but my memoir was prose. I am meeting Edi and the members of the NJCU Writers Workshop on September 12, 2017 from 7pm to 9pm.

I am happy in my 30s with Ayesha (with myself)

I love my name. I like my dresses. I just got three pairs of Issac Mizrahi pants. I am working on my wardrobe. I got rid of some of my old clothes and I cannot wait to get a few new tops or blouses from Marshall’s or JC Penney. I loved the Coach flip flops I saw at Marshall’s the other day. I feel good about how my life turned out little Ayesha to grown up self-assured 30s woman Ayesha who became a college graduate at age 34. I’m 36 penning a memoir and I feel really good about my life and being a poet/writer/blogger and having SZ but SZ not having me. I’m cool. It’s cool to be me.