TheAyeshaSite

Sometimes I remember turning thirty and becoming the Black girl with blue eyes or clear eyes. Ever since I developed a dry eye problem I have tried to use Clear Eyes eye lubricant for my gorgeous dark brown dry eyes. I have a little cousin named Jackson who was born on September 29 whose 5th birthday is coming up. His mother Chanel who is my younger first cousin and she said to Jax “oh look Jackson has dark brown eyes just like Ayesha”. Sometimes I think of Edi and feel so happy to be working on my memoir (book length project). I also remember Old Brooklyn and how all the kids were verbally abusive to me and think of moving to New Jersey starting high school and having a light skinned girl say “Ayesha you’re pretty to be dark skinned”. She thought I was pretty but she also encouraged me to get chesnut brown contacts. My family told me “Ayesha no get clear contacts you have such clear eyes get clear contacts”.

I’m a busy queen bee. I’m busy but I like down time. I love my four motorcycle jackets and the matching motorcycle hat that I am wearing in my Mercer employee ID photo. I just love commuting but I cannot commute more than twice a week. I am a college student majoring in Early Childhood Education. I like the major and I am looking forward to being Miss Ayesha a kindergarten teacher!

I have five poems and a picture of myself in com-pen-di-um a new anthology. I also have a poem in the NAMI Mercer newsletter and I have a poem and an essay published in City Voices. I’m very happy!

Pink things Pink bras Pink Panties Feminine things Things I love My pink motorcycle jacket My four motorcycle jackets My motorcycle hat

My heavenly father is a perfect man. I can remember times in the past where I struggled with my looks or with myself. I was a broken African American teenage girl who thought she would need serious help forever or die in a psychiatric hospital earlier than she expected. I remember my narrative. I remember the past with almost 85%-90% accurately. I am a spiritual person. I love my mom. She’s my greatest supporter, friend and cheerleader. I am working on a book/ on a memoir. I am writing a memoir telling my story of the past 20 years but it will end in the present (late 30s-age 40) 2017-2020 or 2021. I think I will be successful at getting my second Bachelor’s degree in Early Childhood Education too by 2020 or 2021. God intended for me to look the way that I look and that I like myself  that way too. That’s what I love about God you know. People look at the color of my skin one way and say things about me but God sees me and says “my beautiful black Ayesha who weighs 270lbs and is still so sexy”.

I remember walking to the bus stop near NJCU yesterday. Once I got to the bus stop I thought “oh self how gorgeous you look in your raspberry beret, long pink and white stripe tank dress and GREATS from Brooklyn sneakers. How far you have come my Black Beauty. Breathe and get the most out of your summer course you gorgeous Black/African woman you.”

I had the ultimate good fortune to have taken two semesters of Memoir with Edvige Giunta. I am going to be meeting with her and other former students who are members of the NJCU Writers Workshop. I feel like I am a part of the NJCU community since I took Memoir with Edi. I didn’t feel like I was really a part of the NJCU community until I took Memoir with Edi. I feel so much like I am a part of NJCU now. I feel like that about Mercer too where I work as a Mentor for the DREAM program. I love both schools but right now I’m taking a course that is going to prepare me to take the Praxis CORE for Educators test. I want to become a Kindergarten teacher. The kids will call me Miss Ayesha! I know the kids I teach will feel cared about and safe with me.

I didn’t feel pretty as a little girl. Other girls bullied me way too often. I started writing poems as a form of escapism when I was in the 5th grade. I had a friend named Erica Herrera who was my best friend when I was a little girl. I can remember getting in to Cave Canem twice and thinking “Ayesha you’re a poet now it’s official”. I have a poem in this month’s June 2017 NAMI Mercer newsletter and I am so happy. Miss Maddy put the spotlight on me: Ayesha Karim poet and volunteer. I have a copy of the newsletter from last June 2016 when I was a winner of the 22nd Annual NJ Wordsmith competition. That was my biggest honor but this June 2017 I am getting another poem published in City Voices a peer led journal. Much thanks to Miss Maddy and Miss Elena Kravitz. I was wearing a long pink and white stripe tank dress and a raspberry beret yesterday to school and I felt so pretty and happy to be Ayesha!

This is what I enjoy doing. I love being a poet. I have favorite poets. I am a memoirist and I am connected to Sicilian American woman memoirist Edvige Giunta. I love reading memoirs by women and people who live with a mental illness. I love my blogging on my writing blog TheAyeshaSite, a friend told me I was very good at blogging. I thanked her. I want to write articles for children. I love the idea of writing for children.

I am so happy to be connected to Edi Giunta. Memoir writing is something I started doing in my 30s in my last two semesters of college. I love memoir writing. I am writing a memoir. I envision peace, sunflowers, my raspberry beret and a cute red or pink and white stripe long maternity tank dress for summertime. I have come a long way. There’s nothing wrong with me. I have a mental illness. I will seek help and stay involved with NAMI Mercer NJ as a consumer and volunteer. NAMI improves my quality of life. I will always have my memoir whether or not I get it published to me is irrelevant. I want to have a book length memoir. I am so proud of my raspberry beret and my memoir I call Ayesha’s story The Schizophrenia Memoirs.